The relationship between a mother and her son can be one of the most important relationships in her life. Mothers are often the first person to love you, care for you, and to show you what it means to be a parent. But what happens when that relationship goes bad? What happens when your son treats you poorly?
When you’re a mother, it can be hard to know what to do when your son treats you poorly. You want to set boundaries for him and make sure he treats you with respect, but at the same time, you might have trouble letting go of the idea that he will always be a child and that any behavior is just “what kids do.”
In this article, we’ll talk about some of the most common problems that arise in mother-son relationships, as well as some ways you can help your family stay healthy and strong.
What is a toxic mother-son relationship?
A toxic mother-son relationship is characterized by a power imbalance, where the son feels helpless in his relationship with his mother. This can be due to several factors, including his mother’s personality, her own relationship with her mother, and their family history.
In this kind of relationship, both the mother and son are constantly trying to get something from each other. The mother might use guilt trips or other manipulative tactics to try to get what she wants from her son, who will often feel like he has to give in because he feels guilty about not giving her what she wants.
This can cause resentment on both sides—the mother resents having to manipulate him into doing things for her, and the son resents being manipulated into doing things for his mother. This relationship can often lead to situations where the son disrespects his mother.
This relationship between a mother and son is full of frustration and anger. The hateful son might feel like his mother is attacking him, or he might feel like she’s always putting him down. The son’s actions can include:
- Treating her with disrespect or contempt.
- Showing little or no respect for her boundaries, opinions, and feelings.
- Not showing her love or affection as a mother.
- Constantly making fun of her and belittling her in front of others.
Sons who treat their mothers poorly aren’t just hurting themselves. They’re also hurting their mothers, who are often the closest people to them in the world. It’s normal for adult sons to have conflicts with their mothers. Everyone needs to recognize that this does not mean that a son does not love his mother.
Parents must understand the difference between these two scenarios so that they can take steps toward having a healthy relationship with their son if necessary and move past any problems that might arise between them in the future.
Related: Why Are Daughters Mean To Their Mothers?
Tell-tale signs of an unhealthy mother-son relationship
The relationship between a mother and her son is complicated. They are often very close, but they can also be at odds with each other. When the relationship is unhealthy, it can be difficult for mom and son to move forward in their lives.
Here are some tell-tale signs that your mother-son relationship may need some attention:
Controlling mother or an overbearing mother
Controlling mothers are very common in today’s world. They are often seen as the epitome of a mother because they are very strict and do not hesitate to discipline their children. However, this type of mother can also be overbearing. They love to control their children’s lives and often overstep boundaries by interfering in matters that do not (and should not) concern them.
Mothers who are controlling usually have high expectations for their children. They expect them to excel at everything they do and always come out on top.
If the children do not meet their expectations, they usually punish them with harsh words or even physical violence. Control is also evident when mothers make decisions for their children without consulting them first.
An overly controlling mother is also someone who wants to have the final say in how her son lives his life. She may try to manipulate him by saying things like, “I know what’s best for you,” or “You need to do this because I said so.” This type of mother-son relationship can be unhealthy for both parties involved because it can lead to resentment and anger on the son’s part.
Mother overstepping boundaries
Overstepping boundaries can take on many forms, from the mother being overly involved in her son’s life to being controlling and manipulative. A bossy mother will often want to know where her son is at all times, what he’s doing, and who he’s spending time with.
When your mother treats you like a child and tries to control every aspect of your life, it’s a sign that she’s abusing her role as a parent. She might demand that you live at home until you’re 30 or tell you who to date and how to dress. She might even tell you what classes to take in school or if you should get married or have children.
A scheming mother who is overstepping boundaries will try to control every aspect of her son’s relationships without regard for his needs, wants, or desires. This type of abuse can lead to anxiety and depression in the son.
Physical or mental abuse from other people or the abusive mother herself
This is the most obvious sign that a mother-son relationship is unhealthy. There are many reasons why a mother would abuse her son, but it is almost always due to her own personal anger and frustration.
Mothers who do not get enough attention from their partners, have trouble finding fulfillment in their work, or struggle with depression are more likely to hurt their adult child in this way.
If you’re a son and your mother is physically or mentally abusive, this can have a huge impact on your life. It’s important to note that mothers are not always aware of their own abusive tendencies, so be sure to speak up if she’s being cruel or neglectful.
You can also get psychological or medical advice from professionals who can help you recover from this harmful behavior!
The mother’s personal loneliness
If your mom seems lonely—like she doesn’t have any friends or interests outside of you—that could be a sign of an unhealthy mother-son relationship. If she just calls you up to talk about how you’re doing in school or your plans for the weekend, it might seem like she only cares about making sure you’re happy and healthy.
But if you notice that she never has anything interesting to say when she calls, that could signify that she’s missing something in her life besides being your mom.
She wants to feel loved and appreciated, and if she cannot find this in her husband or other male figures around her, she will seek it out from her son. This is especially true if she’s a single mother and has been through a divorce.
Influenced by the media’s “bad boy behavior”
In today’s society, young men are bombarded with images of what it means to be a man. From superhero movies like Spider-Man and Batman to music videos featuring artists like Drake and Chris Brown, young men are exposed to a range of masculine behaviors that they may not be equipped to handle.
The mother-son relationship is complex and often influenced by media depictions of what it means to be a man. For example, if your son has been watching a lot of shows that feature “bad boys” (like Luke Cage or Breaking Bad), he may be more likely to act out in ways that are not healthy for his relationship with you.
Adult sons are often influenced by the media’s depiction of men as powerful and dominant, which can cause them to feel like they need to fit that image. This can make them less receptive to their mother’s attempts to help them with their problems or offer advice about how they should behave.
This can include things like your son talking poorly, being disrespectful or rude, and even acting out violently toward you.
Son has a toxic relationship with a romantic partner, with his peers, or with a dysfunctional family
A son who has a destructive relationship with his mother will likely have an unhealthy relationship with others. He may have trouble forming healthy romantic relationships or maintaining friendships. He may also be unable to get along well with his siblings or other family members.
If your son’s relationship is making him unhappy, or he is having problems with his friends or family, this could indicate that other issues are at play. If your son struggles to make friends or has problems in his romantic relationships, it might be because of how his mother has treated him.
He might feel like he doesn’t know how to relate to women because the woman who raised him made him feel uncomfortable around her.
The mother treats her daughters differently
It can be difficult for mothers to treat their adult son and daughter equally regarding discipline, love, and affection. However, if the mother favors one child over another or treats them differently, then this may indicate an unwell relationship between the two.
If you believe your mother is treating you differently because she sees you as more masculine than feminine. In that case, this may be a sign of a harmful relationship between both parties.
Mothers are supposed to love their children equally, but most of us know that’s not always the case. Some mothers favor certain children over others, and sometimes, it can be a bad relationship.
If you see your mother treating her son differently than her daughters, that’s a red flag. Because in a healthy family world, all children are treated equally. They all get the same attention and affection and are encouraged to do the same things in life.
But if you grew up in an unhealthy family, you might have noticed that your own mother gave your sister more freedom than you, or she was much more controlling over them. Or maybe she didn’t show as much affection toward them as she did to you—that’s a sign of favoritism, which is also unhealthy for kids.
How To Create A Healthy Mother-Son Relationship
A mother-son bond is important. A son is a lot like a reflection of you. He sees how you react to situations and learns from your example.
Your son may want to emulate your behavior, so it’s important to be an example of healthy relationships by being kind, calm, and patient. It can often be challenging, but with these tips, you can create a healthy mother-son relationship.
Listen To What He Has To Say
You’ve probably heard the saying “Mother knows best,” but that doesn’t mean your son always wants to hear what you have to say. When he comes home from school, don’t just ask him what happened today—ask him how he feels about it. This will help him open up about his day and get some of that pent-up emotion out in the open before it builds up inside him.
It’s tempting to get involved in every little thing that goes on in your son’s life, but this is one of the worst things you can do if you want to establish healthy mother-son relationships. You might think that you know everything there is to know about your son, but it’s always nice to hear what he has to say.
Read More: How To Get Kids To Do Chores Without Nagging? 6 Ways To Keep The Zen!
Listening will help you understand where he’s coming from and how he feels about things. It could also give you some insight into what’s going on in his life, which can help you be more supportive of him as he grows up.
Let Them Make Decisions On Their Own
One of the most important things you can do to create a healthy relationship with your son is to let him make his own decisions. You don’t have to agree with everything he does and say yes when he asks for something, but you must trust him enough to give him the space he needs to find his way and make mistakes along the way.
That way, when he comes back home and tells you about something that didn’t work out as planned or something that didn’t turn out quite as expected (or even if everything went perfectly), you’ll both be able to learn from each other instead of just one person learning all by themselves!
This will also teach him how to make good choices and give him confidence in his abilities as well as his independence from you.
Be Open And Honest About Your Own Mistakes
Adult children learn by watching us, so if they see us making mistakes, then it’s natural for them to think that doing the same thing would be okay too!
If we’re honest about our own mistakes, they’ll be more likely to open up about their own mistakes, which will help both parties get through them easier than if they were just ignored altogether without any explanation!
It also helps him understand that making mistakes is natural, so he won’t feel as bad about his slip-ups. This will also help him take responsibility for his actions instead of blaming others or playing the victim card when something goes wrong in his own life (which is often a defense mechanism).
Don’t Get Overly Involved In His Personal Life
If you want your son to grow into a healthy young man with good self-esteem, then you need to give him room for growth. Don’t try so hard to keep tabs on what he’s doing or who he’s hanging out with; instead, let him go out into the world and find his own way through life. He’ll learn more from making mistakes than he will from being coddled by his mother!
Your son needs to learn how to take care of himself and manage his relationships with people, even if they’re not family members. He needs to make mistakes and learn from them, which he can’t do if you’re constantly scolding him or telling him what to do. Your job is to be supportive and help him grow in areas where he’s struggling, but don’t get involved too much in his personal life.
Be Supportive Of Your Son’s Interests And Passions
Supporting your son is important, but it doesn’t mean you have to play every sport or join every club he does. If he’s into something like woodworking or knitting, be supportive by helping him find resources for learning more about it, or even just encouraging him to pursue his passion.
This is one of the most important things you can do for your son. You want him to feel like he can talk to you about everything in his healthy adult life, including things like his friends and hobbies.
When he feels comfortable talking with you about the things that matter to him, he’ll be more likely to open up about other things, too—like when something might be bothering him or if something is going on at school.
By being supportive of your son’s interests and passions, you let him know that he can come to you with anything—and that will make all the difference in cultivating a normal mother-son relationship.
Young sons rebel for a reason – but with enough work, you can mend a broken relationship.
When a son mistreats his mother, it can be hard to know how to respond. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone in this. Many sons treat their mothers poorly and make their life miserable. Your son is not the only one who has ever done this—and he won’t be the last.
But there are things that you can do to help your son understand how important his mother is to him, and how much she deserves to be treated with respect. Hopefully, these tips have helped you understand what’s going on in your son’s life, and how best to support him both as an adult and in your parent-child relationships.
