How To Get Kids To Do Chores Without Nagging? Hint: It’s YOUR Approach That Needs To Change

By Shannon McLaughlin | Updated On August 15, 2022

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how to get kids to do chores without nagging

So, you’ve tried everything. You’ve tried the “I will give you this if you do that.” approach. You’ve tried the “I’ll be sad if you don’t.” approach. But nothing has worked. And now, you’re at your wit’s end because your kids just aren’t doing their chores!

If you’re a parent, chances are you’ve faced this problem at least once: how can you get your kid to do chores without nagging? It’s a common problem. After all, kids don’t always want to do what we tell them.

So, what can we do? The answer is simple: it’s time to change our approach!

We have ideas galore for getting your kid off their butt and doing their chores. These tips are tried and true—we know because we use them in our own homes daily!

Benefits Of Doing Household Chores For Kids

As a parent, you probably thinking: why should my kid do chores?

Well, there are a lot of benefits to household chores for kids. Chores are a great way to teach kids the value of hard work, give them an understanding of what it means to make a contribution, and help them develop important life skills.

Here are some of the many benefits of doing household chores for kids:

Helps Them Develop A Sense Of Responsibility

A sense of responsibility is an important life skill that children need to develop in order to be successful in the world.

By getting involved with household chores, children will learn how to take care of their things, as well as learn how easy it can be to clean up after themselves without having someone else do it for them.

They will also learn how to manage their time and prioritize tasks so that everything gets done that needs to be done—and that’s something every parent wants for their child! 

This is also one of the best ways to prepare them for life after school when they will have jobs and be expected to take care of themselves.

Teaches Them Life Skills

young girl making her bed

Children learn how to work hard, how to be responsible, and how to set goals for themselves when they’re given chores. They also learn how to manage their time, which is a skill that will help them throughout their lives.

If your kids don’t learn how to do their own laundry, they will never be able to live on their own! And if they don’t learn how to wash their dishes and make their beds, they will end up sleeping in a pile of dirty clothes with crumbs all over their faces.

And these are all important life lessons we can’t afford to skip! The sooner they start, the better!

Builds Respect And Appreciation

When you allow your child to do chores around the house, they’ll start to feel more appreciated by their family members—this will encourage them to be grateful for what they have and more motivated to contribute toward the betterment of the group.

They gain a deeper appreciation for the things that go into running a home—from cooking meals to cleaning dishes.

This will build their respect for their parents and other adults in their lives because it shows them that everyone has a role to play in keeping things running smoothly at home!

Kids will also have a greater sense of appreciation for you as well as their siblings. This can help reduce sibling rivalry!

A Sense Of Accomplishment

If you’re a parent, then you know that there’s nothing better than seeing your kid get excited about something. It’s like magic!

And what better way to make them feel accomplished than by having them help out around the house?

Once the chores are done, they will feel proud of themselves for doing so, it’s a win-win for everyone involved!

By assigning household chores, you’re giving your child the chance to learn how to work within a group, manage time and resources wisely, and be responsible for their own actions—which is also pretty good practice for when they grow up!

This sense of accomplishment will also help them develop into happy, healthy adults who can take charge of their lives independently without needing assistance from anyone else.

Teaches Them How To Work With Others

mom assisting daughter with her chore

We know what you’re thinking: “I can’t teach my kids how to work with others when all we do is argue about who has to take out the trash or wash the dishes.”

But here’s the thing—chores are not just about doing the work yourself—they’re also about teaching kids how to communicate with others and work together as a team. If you have children with different personalities, this can be especially helpful!

Working together teaches kids how to compromise, collaborate, and even ask for help when they need it! Besides, chores are also a great way for a family to bond and spend time together doing something productive!

Parenting Tips To Get Your Kids To Do Chores Without Nagging:

Parenting is hard.

We know, we know—you’re probably tired of hearing us say it. But it’s true! Parenting is the hardest job in the world, and you deserve a medal for every single thing that you do right.

But let’s be honest: sometimes, even when you’re doing everything right, your kids still won’t do their chores. It can be frustrating. You’ve got things to do! And they’re just… sitting there… not helping.

If you’re tired of nagging your kids to do their chores and they are not listening… then there’s a good chance they’re tired of hearing it too. The problem isn’t that your children don’t want to help out—it’s that they feel like they’re being bossed around when you tell them what to do.

So how do you stop nagging and start getting results? The good news is that it’s easy to change this! Here are some parenting tips for getting your kids to do chores without nagging:

Make it fun! Chores don’t have to feel like work.

kid having fun with her chore

If your kid refuses to do chores, you can find a way to make it feel less like a “chore” and more like “play”.

This way, your kid will be more likely to want to help out around the house. Maybe they can choose which chores they want to do each day—and then once they’ve completed that task, they will get rewards!

Take the time to find ways for your child to enjoy doing their chores. For example, if your child has an interest in cooking or baking, offer them a chance to help you cook dinner or bake cookies together every now and then.

Set up a chore chart or calendar for your kid.

Make sure your child knows exactly what they’re supposed to be doing on any given day—and what they get out of it. If you use a chore chart or calendar with stickers or stars as rewards for completing tasks (or even just doing them), your kids will be more motivated than ever before!

Young children can benefit from visual reminders of what chores to do each day so they can take ownership of their responsibilities and feel proud when they accomplish something on their list.

Make sure the chores are age-appropriate.

If your kid is a five-year-old, don’t ask them to empty the dishwasher—that’s just setting yourself up for failure! Instead, ask them if they’d like help with small tasks like picking up their toys or folding laundry.

Make sure you know how many chores a child should have a day and that it’s reasonable for their age and abilities. If you give your five-year-old too much responsibility, they’ll get overwhelmed and frustrated, which is never fun for anyone!

It’s also important to ensure the tasks your child is assigned are age-appropriate for their skill set. If they’re too young or inexperienced, it may be better to help them out until they can do it themselves.

Praise your children for good behavior.

mom praising her child

If they’re doing something right, tell them! Let them know how proud you are of their accomplishments and how much you appreciate the effort they’re putting in.

Your kids want positive attention just as much as adults do—and if they see that their behavior is making mom happy, they’re more likely to want to repeat it. So, when your kid does chores well or uses a polite tone when asking for something, always acknowledge it!

You can try praising them by saying, “Thanks for making my lunch today!” “That’s so nice of you.” “I really appreciate how quickly you did that.” You get the idea!

Give them a choice in how they do their chore.

If you give your child a choice, they are more likely to do the chores because they like the choice you gave them. For example, if your child wants to vacuum their room, let them choose which vacuum they use and which attachment they use.

If your child wants to take out the trash, you could say, “You can take out the trash or vacuum the living room.” Your child will be excited about getting paid for doing chores because they get to choose what they want to do.

But the question is, how much to pay kids for chores? If your child is doing dishes today, you could pay him $5 per week or have them earn $10 per month by doing their chores each week with no nagging from you!

Talk about taking responsibility and the consequences of not doing the chore.

You should have a talk with your child about how to take responsibility and the consequences of not doing the chore. 

Note: this doesn’t have to be a serious talk!

For example, if you don’t clean up after dinner, then who will? How would it make YOU feel if no one helped with chores around the house? Will there be consequences for not completing it?

You should explain how this will affect them in the long run: that if they don’t learn how to take care of their own belongings now, they’ll end up having to hire someone else to do it later…and paying someone else is always more expensive than just doing it yourself!

Set up a reward system!

child getting a reward after a job well done

Should parents give their children an allowance for completing chores? Absolutely! Especially if children have been acting out and refusing to do their chores, try instituting a reward system where they get paid for good behavior—and not-so-good behavior will cost them money.

Should you pay your kids for doing chores?

Yes, because this way, kids will learn that there are consequences for misbehaving or not completing tasks around the house! It’s also a great way to teach kids the value of money.

Get organized and create a structure for chores.

This can be as simple as creating a chore chart with pictures or even just writing out the days of the week and assigning each child a different day to do their chores.

For example, if you have three kids and each kid has their own chore list, make sure each one knows exactly when they’re supposed to do their chores (and why). This will help them feel more independent and give them ownership over their tasks.

This will make sure that everyone is on the same page about what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, and by whom. This can also help prevent fights between siblings as they both try to grab at the same chore (or avoid doing one).

Set a time limit for chores.

Make sure your child knows exactly how long it should take them to complete a task so there’s no confusion about what “being done” means.

You should always ensure that everyone else has their own responsibilities, too—including yourself!

If you give your kids a set amount of time to complete one chore, then leave them alone, they’ll have no choice but to get it done as quickly as possible. You’ll never hear them say, “I’ll do it later.”

This is also a great way to ensure that your child doesn’t spend all day doing one chore instead of getting everything done that needs doing around the house (which could result in having less time together as a family).

When you feel like you want to nag, take a breather.

mom and daughter embracing

Sometimes parents feel frustrated because they want their kids to do something NOW and aren’t getting anywhere. If this is happening to you, take a moment to breathe deeply and remind yourself that this is a process.

This will allow you more time to think about how best to handle the situation and give your kids time to think about what they’ve done wrong so they can fix it instead of just being punished for whatever mistake they made at the moment.

The more consistent you are with your expectations of your children, the easier it will be for them to understand what’s expected of them. Don’t give up!

Be consistent.

If you let your kids get away with not doing their chores one day, they’ll know they can get away with it again tomorrow. But if you’re consistent and make sure they do their chores every day, they’ll catch on and start doing them on their own.

When it comes to parenthood, consistency is key! Kids need to know what’s expected of them and when those expectations will be met—even if it means being consistent with the same chores every day.

The more consistent you are with enforcing this structure, the easier it will be for your children to remember what they’re supposed to be doing, when, and how often they’re supposed to do it.

It doesn’t have to cause you headaches every day.

And there you have it! We hope these tips have helped you find a way how to get your kids to do chores without arguing, drama, or bribery.

With the tips in this article, you’ll be able to get your children to pick up after themselves and help out around the house without any of the stress or yelling that usually goes along with it. You’ll have a clean home, and your kids will know they’re important family members!

Motherhood Society employs only credible sources, such as peer-reviewed research, to validate the information in our articles. Discover our editorial methodology to understand how we ensure the accuracy, dependability, and integrity of our content.

Shannon is a mother of two boys and one girl. She's hoping her experience with parenting and everything in between can help other moms navigate the complex world of motherhood.

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